He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
