dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
