I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
