I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
