why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize