I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
