I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
