I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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