He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
