Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
