Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
