Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
