Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
