Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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