some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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