I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
