Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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