so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
