How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
