Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up under a house in Key West
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
