Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
