No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
