i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
