i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
