Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
