Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so let's talk penis.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
