She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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