No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
