The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
