The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize