Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
