just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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