Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
