he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
