I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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