Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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