dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
