I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
