I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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