There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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