haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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