Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
