wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
