When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize