It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
