I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
