guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
