Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
