Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
