Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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