Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
