Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
