is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
