woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize