I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
