Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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