yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
