I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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