I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
