You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
