Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
