Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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