I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
