guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
