I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
