Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
send nudes
from the living room?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
