dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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