i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
