i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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