dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
