you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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