next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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