It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
