if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize