I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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