It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
