Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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