the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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