I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
